[...Of course he wouldn't take the easy way out but he had to at least give himself the opportunity. You can't make this easy on him Miles, can you? This conversation was getting more difficult by the second. He really kind of wished he and Miles were making contact so Jim could make some sad attempt at conveying what he wanted to say, at the same time, glad Miles couldn't see the darkness curling around in the back of his mind.]

...If I'm going to be a starship captain, I won't drag anyone down by making them wait for me. I won't leave anyone behind holding their breaths hoping I make it home alive every time I go away. I won't take anyone with me and risk whatever's happening to me happening to them.

[He'd seen his mother growing up torn to shreds after what happened that day. He hated his own birthday because of it. He refused to inflict that kind of pain on someone.]