[ She slips away and takes a few steps back. Then she releases her grip on her power. Lets herself turn into her real form.
She's a strange creature now, to be sure. Her hair is gray and brittle - nothing like the silky dark fall she had before. Her face and hands are wrinkled and mottled, lined with age. But she doesn't look like an old woman - not exactly. Her eyes are bright as a bird's, and her lips are still full, like a young woman's. Still...There's also a clear frailty to her. From the way she kneels on the floor. From the curve of her back.
[ Boy does he recognize that frailty. Not the same cause, oh no, but a similar effect, having bones too frail to stand up to much ... and too, what must be the underlying mental state involved. She said it had only been a day, right? Then this couldn't possibly be a situation where she'd aged naturally somehow, or had the years to match her body ...
He takes it all in, concern flooding his features - but sympathy too, so much sympathy. He stoops just slightly to meet her, reaching for her hands. ]
[ She looks up at him and squeezes his hands. None too tightly. She doesn't have the strength for a really good grip. Her lips quirk up a little more, the expression melancholy. ]
I spent a few minutes in the Other Place. The world of spirits. To call for allies. This is what it did to me.
[ A beat. ]
It's all right. I'll grow into it. It'll just...take a few years, right?
[ As he suspected, then. He squeezes back, equally gently, though suddenly aware of the fact that his grip is stronger than hers. God ... He never really wanted that to happen. ]
Of course. I'll show you all the tricks I've come up with over the years - shortcuts to adapting, very useful. It'll all be second nature soon enough.
[ He'd already been thinking about it obliquely, so he doesn't take more than a moment to consider the right blend of teasing and serious for his tone. ]
[ But she lowers her eyes and smiles - the expression now quite thoroughly wistful. ]
The problem is that there are plenty of people not aware of that. [ A beat. ] And it's not as though I've got an inside that would make most people crumble and swoon.
[ He does have to take a moment to assess here. Would he normally want this with someone actually her age? Eh ... maybe not. But this is Kitty, dammit, who clearly ended up like this doing something wildly brave and amazing. He doesn't have to work hard to stir up real warmth. ]
Hardly. You're like something out of an old Barrayaran fairy tale. A young girl who travels to the spirit world to save everyone - and does, but returns changed. As I recall, her lover adored the starry silver color of her hair.
[ He reaches out lightly to touch it with one hand. ]
Not at all. Ask Gregor and he'll tell you the same one. My word as a Vor.
[ And Miles won't even cheat and tell him telepathically. He hesitates for a moment, then continues his gesture. Lightly threading his fingers through her hair. ]
[ That's ... exactly how the tale ends, in fact, except with both dead. It's a happy ending. Barrayarans. Miles tactfully decides not to mention it, though; instead, his breath catches a bit. ]
[ Her breath hitches again. But she leans her head against his and rocks gently against him. Her voice is a whisper. ]
We went into it knowing we wouldn't come out the other side. The three of us. We knew we'd die. Better to make a willing sacrifice than to die unwillingly.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
no subject
[ She slips away and takes a few steps back. Then she releases her grip on her power. Lets herself turn into her real form.
She's a strange creature now, to be sure. Her hair is gray and brittle - nothing like the silky dark fall she had before. Her face and hands are wrinkled and mottled, lined with age. But she doesn't look like an old woman - not exactly. Her eyes are bright as a bird's, and her lips are still full, like a young woman's. Still...There's also a clear frailty to her. From the way she kneels on the floor. From the curve of her back.
Her smile is forced. Pained. ]
This is...what I turned into.
no subject
He takes it all in, concern flooding his features - but sympathy too, so much sympathy. He stoops just slightly to meet her, reaching for her hands. ]
Kitty ...
no subject
I spent a few minutes in the Other Place. The world of spirits. To call for allies. This is what it did to me.
[ A beat. ]
It's all right. I'll grow into it. It'll just...take a few years, right?
no subject
Of course. I'll show you all the tricks I've come up with over the years - shortcuts to adapting, very useful. It'll all be second nature soon enough.
no subject
I meant my wrinkles. I'll grow into them.
no subject
Ah. Those I'm not so sure about. You'll never actually manage to be as dignified as you look.
no subject
[ Another half laugh. ]
Oh, that's a death knell to my love life, isn't?
no subject
no subject
no subject
no subject
[ She arches an eyebrow at him and - part wry, part bitter, part actually amused - shoots back at him that question that had caused so much drama. ]
Would you sleep with me?
no subject
Of course.
no subject
no subject
Do you really doubt me, Kitty Jones? Weren't you the one going on about how the inside was more important?
no subject
[ But she lowers her eyes and smiles - the expression now quite thoroughly wistful. ]
The problem is that there are plenty of people not aware of that. [ A beat. ] And it's not as though I've got an inside that would make most people crumble and swoon.
no subject
Hardly. You're like something out of an old Barrayaran fairy tale. A young girl who travels to the spirit world to save everyone - and does, but returns changed. As I recall, her lover adored the starry silver color of her hair.
[ He reaches out lightly to touch it with one hand. ]
no subject
There's no fairy tale like that. You're making it up.
no subject
[ And Miles won't even cheat and tell him telepathically. He hesitates for a moment, then continues his gesture. Lightly threading his fingers through her hair. ]
no subject
[ She lifts her eyebrows - but she also leans her head in to his touch, just like she does as a cat. ]
And how about that version of the story where everything got so cocked up that her lover ended up having to die, as well?
no subject
He died? During this ...
[ Disaster, he doesn't say. ]
no subject
[ Her lip trembles just a bit. She squeezes her eyes shut against the tears that threaten to brim over. ]
I mean...Sort of, because he was only sort of that to her. He didn't sort of die. He...he died very thoroughly. Never coming back.
[ A hitched breath in. And a hot tear, scalding its way down her cheek. ]
She barely had a chance to know him.
[ And then, angrily, she dashes her sleeve against her eyes. ]
Damn it. It doesn't matter. There are thousands dead. Thousands more wounded. What do two deaths and a wrinkled face matter?
no subject
It matters. The same way every one of those thousands dead and wounded matter to the people who love them.
no subject
We went into it knowing we wouldn't come out the other side. The three of us. We knew we'd die. Better to make a willing sacrifice than to die unwillingly.
no subject
Certainly. I wouldn't argue against that for a moment. But that doesn't make it any easier for you now, does it?
no subject
[ She gives a little shake of her head. ]
No. It doesn't. At all.
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)